SHELLSHOCK 2: BLOOD TRAILS

Shellshock 2: Blood Trails is maybe not completely without its redeeming qualities, such as its genuinely creepy atmosphere, but it is, at the same time, also a classic case of a game that is as unfun to play as it is conceptually interesting. Broken shooting mechanics and AI, terrible level design, frustrating controls, you name it- the game was riddled with issues that made it an absolute nightmare to play.

DUKE NUKEM FOREVER

Few games deserve a spot on such lists as much as Duke Nukem Forever do. After spending an interminably long time in development hell and changing developers more times than anyone could keep track of, the long-in-development FPS was brought to market by Gearbox, and it. Was. Awful. As broken and bland in its design as it was dated and abrasive with its writing, with a host of technical issues to boot, Duke Nukem Forever was an unmitigated disaster.

XIII (2020)

The original XIII, back when it first came out, may not have been special by any means, but it certainly didn’t deserve a remake as horrific as the one it got in 2020, which may truly be one of the worst games ever made. 2020’s XIII may have had some cool visual flourishes, but from a mess of technical issues to braindead enemy AI to painfully dull shooting to so, so much more, it was an atrocious time. A major overhaul in 2022 did sand out many of its rough edges, but it’s still a tough game to recommend.

MEDAL OF HONOR: UNDERGROUND (GBA)

We understand that Medal of Honor: Underground came at a time when it was common to see completely different versions of the same game for different platforms- but why the hell would you try to develop an actual first-person shooter for the Game Boy Advance? Unsurprisingly, it did not go well. Medal of Honor: Underground looked awful and was frustratingly limited in the gameplay department in ways that an FPS just cannot afford. Other than as a curious novelty (that stinks like week-old socks), there is no reason for this version of this game to exist.

ALIENS: COLONIAL MARINES

Everything about this game was an absolute dumpster fire. Gearbox and Sega made huge promises in the lead-up to Aliens: Colonial Marines’ launch, but the game itself fell spectacularly short in so many ways. Game-breaking AI issues, crippling technical problems (including a huge visual downgrade), and more combined in an experience that failed to satisfy in any real way. Hell, so bad was Colonial Marines that Sega and Gearbox literally got dragged into court over claims of false advertisement.

ROBOCOP (2003)

Coming after an unusually long development cycle of four years (for the time, at least), Titus Interactive’s RoboCop arrived in 2003 on the back of the promise of an authentic FPS based on the beloved sci-fi property, and roundly failed to deliver on that promise even the teensiest bit. Terrible licensed games were far from a rarity in those days, and given how repetitive, generic, and painfully dull it was, it was no surprise to see RoboCop join that list.

REDFALL

Until not too long ago, it would have been impossible to imagine that the studio behind the original Dishonored and 2017’s Prey would end up delivering one o the worst shooters ever made, but the sad and indisputable fact is that Redfall is that bad. Broken, buggy, and uninspired, it exhibits none of the ingenious design that Arkane is typically known for, all in favour of a co-op looter shooter structure that it also doesn’t do any sort of justice to. On top of ending support for Redfall and cancelling its DLC plans, parent company Microsoft also went on to entirely shutter Arkane Austin, which shall always be this game’s unfortunate and tragic legacy.

BATTLE: LOS ANGELES

Coming back to poorly received licensed games, here’s one that you may not even remember ever existed- which would be a blessing in disguise, because boy is this an awful game. Battle: Los Angeles launched in 2011 and was just as bland and forgettable as the movie it was based on. A shockingly short campaign that lasted under an hour and painfully dull level design and gunplay were just a few of its many glaring issues.

THE WALKING DEAD: SURVIVAL INSTINCT

The Walking Dead as an IP has had its ups and downs in gaming. Survival Instinct definitely falls in the latter category, and may even be so bad that it’s its flag-bearer. Focusing on the Dixon brothers, The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct made thin promises of being a genuinely well-made game, before being roundly criticized by one and all upon launch for being a disappointingly shallow and broken experience, to the point of being downright unplayable.

GOLDENEYE: ROGUE AGENT

Rogue Agent was literally announced with the working title GoldenEye 2 back in the day, but the actual game couldn’t have fallen further from those implied heights. Though it hid some fleeting moments of fun in its innards, there was by and large just too much else that dragged the game down, including uninspired levels, lackluster gunplay, and a nonsensical story that was almost hostile in its disrespect for James Bond canon.

007 LEGENDS

We’ll stick with the man with the license to kill a tad longer, because we can’t really talk about bad Bond games and not mention 007 Legends, which may even be one of the worst games ever made, period. Conceptually, its promise of combining all eras of the Bond movies in a single, anthological experience was an intriguing one, but the game seemed much more interested in instead being a poorly made Call of Duty clone that did not even have the shooting mechanics to back up those ambitions.

TERMINATOR 3: WAR OF THE MACHINES

Also often known as the poor man’s Battlefield 1942, Terminator 3: War of the Machines is a rare example of a game where it’s genuinely hard to come up with legitimate redeeming qualities. In almost every way that mattered, this was a game that came up short in significant ways. It was ugly to look at, its awful level design made it a chore to play, it was riddled with technical issues, its multiplayer was downright broken- and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

FAR CRY VENGEANCE

The Far Cry series has generally maintained an admirable level of quality with its mainline entries over the years, but its spinoff offerings have stumbled in more worse ways. Exhibit A: Far Cry Vengeance, an absolute mess of a remake of a game that wasn’t that great to begin with. Vengeance checked almost none of the boxes that you want a Far Cry game to check, instead coming across as an underwhelming cashgrab with mindlessly repetitive offerings and downright ugly visuals.

ROGUE WARRIOR

How this game was allowed to release in any form, much less as a full-priced $60 release back in the day, will forever remain one of gaming’s greatest mysteries. Releasing in an era that was oversatursated with shooters, Rogue Warrior offered absolutely nothing of value. Rather than focusing on fun shooting and stealth and solid design, the game instead relied on horrible writing and dull mechanics, all delivered in a shockingly short campaign and broken multiplayer modes.

HAZE

Haze was one of several games to be billed as a supposed Halo killer in the lead-up to its release back in the day, and like every single one of them, it did not live up to that billing. On the contrary, in fact, it has rightly gone down as one of the worst games of its era. Though Haze could show fleeting flashes of quality from time to time, it was ultimately far too much of a mess across both its campaign and multiplayer modes to be remembered as anything more than than massive disappointment it was.

Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing

2003’s Big Rigs: Over The Road Racing is regarded as one of the worst games in the history of the medium, with good reason. The Stellar Stone developed title involves players making their way through the US in an effort to get cargo goods delivered within time. In actuality, however, playing it is an exercise in pain as you try to wrestle with the game’s multitude of bugs and other technical inefficiencies that will make you want to throw your controller in the air.

-Mx vs. ATV: Reflex-

Mx vs. ATV: Reflex did fairly well with critics and fans; however it didn’t do well enough to deserve the Big Hit predicted. While initially it looked as though the game was going to be a smash hit it fell short in a few categories for some of the larger sites which brought down the scores a bit. Fan reception has been good for the most part but it didn’t take off as quickly as we thought.

Metacritic: 79

Gamerankings: 80.53%

Gaming Bolt: Pending

Prediction: Big Hit

Final Verdict: Hit

–Rogue Warrior–

Well I guess we were a bit too generous with this one. Rogue Warrior’s scores were worse than its language. Sales were depressingly low and you have to wonder, why would Bethesda pick this game up? They are associated with a much higher class of games than Rogue Warrior. It pretty much goes without saying, don’t pick this one up.

Metacritic: 36

Gamerankings: 36.00%

Gaming Bolt: Pending (But really, do you need another review to tell you the game is bad?)

Prediction: Miss

Final Verdict: Big Miss

–Avatar–

Avatar released to average scores and a decent reception, mostly by those interested in the movie hitting on the 18^th. While the world looks beautiful the story is not and involves a few too many fetch quests. If you really want a new game in December this could end up being one of the better choices when all is said and done. If you still have games from early in 2009 you have yet to finish then there is no reason to pick up Avatar.

Metacritic: 63

Gamerankings: 64.47%

Gaming Bolt: Review in Progress

Prediction: Anywhere in between

Final Verdict: Decent (Not quite a hit but not quite a miss)

-The Saboteur–

Overview: Saboteur is Pandemic Studios’ final game and has an open-world setting much like their Mercenaries games.  This takes place in Nazi occupied France and you play as an Irishman Sean who is looking for revenge.

What to look forward to: The Saboteur incorporates elements of urban exploration and travel from Assassin’s Creed 2 (albeit with choppier animations) along with third-person gunplay.  While the premise of a revenge story is not exactly the most original story in the world, the way it is executed in The Saboteur is interesting.  Parts of the city that are under Nazi control are in black and white.  As Sean liberates parts of Paris, color is restored.

Suspicions: After seeing gameplay footage, some of the animations are choppy.  With this being the final game that Pandemic Studios made, it could be possible that it might have been rushed towards the end.

Overall: The premise of The Saboteur is interesting and gamers know Pandemic’s work from the Battlefront and Mercenaries series.

Prediction: Hit

-Silent Hill: Shattered Memories-

Overview: Silent Hill Shattered Memories is a re-imagining of the first game on the Wii.  While it will have a similar story to the first game, new gameplay elements have been introduced to make this iteration unique.

What to look forward to: Look forward to the same creepy atmosphere that always comes with Silent Hill games.  A difference will be that there are no weapons to fight off the zombies with.  This is a game about fleeing from zombies through doors and over fences.

Suspicions: Gamers usually aren’t fond of running away from stuff when they usually are stabbing, slicing, bludgeoning, or shooting any given enemy in the face.  Silent Hill has always been a franchise about its atmosphere and maybe it can get by on that.

Overall: Silent Hill: Shattered Memories looks ok and will most likely be embraced by the hardcore gamers of the Wii community, but probably won’t convince many people with all three consoles to quit playing Call of Duty or Uncharted 2.

Prediction: Miss

-The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks-

Overview: Another Zelda game on DS that takes place after Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass.  This version will introduce instead of a boat, trains to travel around around the world.  The player will control both Link and Zelda.

What to look forward to: If you liked Phantom Hourglass you will probably like this.  If you like Link and The Legend of Zelda you will almost certainly get this game.  Same cool looking cel-shaded graphics, more dual-screen action, and more stylus.

Suspicions: The main criticism of the first game was that it was too easy.  Who can say if this version will be too easy or not?

Overall: The Legend of Zelda is such a popular name out there that the ridiculous number of people with DSs will go out and buy it.

Prediction: Big Hit

So here is this week’s Hit or Miss.   Come back next week to see how horribly right (or wrong) we were this week.  Until next week Gaming Bolt!