No One Lives Forever

Zany 1960s spy aesthetic, hilariously clever writing, unique mission objectives and an endearing protagonist. What more could you want? No One Lives Forever was also releasing in a post-Half-Life era where stronger story-telling was valued in first person shooters. Alas, its success wasn’t to be. Despite rave reviews from critics, NOLF would release in November 2000 and only sell 36,501 copies by the end of the year. Even worse is the fact that current-generation players can’t experience it due to muddled IP rights. Nevertheless, whatever the future may hold, Cate Archer will forever be in our hearts.

If you haven’t heard of Goat Simulator, then you’ve just been missing out. It’s (apparently) Coffee Stain Studios’ take on the life of a goat and allows players to see the world through a goat’s eyes. We’ll just let you try and get over the initial shock of the developer of Sanctum 1 & 2 working on a goat simulating game.

That being said, the developer has announced that the game will be releasing on April 1st via Steam. An obvious attempt for April Fool’s, right? But the studio is serious. When asked “bro are u srs”, Coffee Stain simply replied “Yes”. We remain skeptical.

Amazingly enough, there will apparently be Linux and Mac ports when the game “launches” but there won’t be any multiplayer mode. Its physics are apparently too resource-hungry to handle more than one goat on screen. Again, we’re not saying Goat Simulator won’t definitely release but heck, we’d be even more surprised if it did. Stay tuned for more details.