Ten Protagonists That Make No Sense At All

Rayman

You can probably already see where I’m going with this one. Rayman’s anatomy is just all kinds of screwed up. Fair enough, the guy has no arms to support his hands. Maybe though, he has constructed some kind of ingenious invisible pulley system to suspend his fists by his side. There’s more to it than that though. How does he use his fists as weapons of such power and precision if they are attached in such a way? The only logical explanation is that he supports them with telekinetic powers, but that seems a little far-fetched, don’t you think?

Luigi

I know I’ve already knocked one half of the Mario Bros. for being ridiculous, but Luigi is an equal perpetrator of this particular injustice. Aside from being slightly lankier and having green overalls, Luigi is basically the same as Mario. He exists solely to justify the two player variations of the classic Mario games. Whilst this works excellently for when Mario needs a supporting character, Luigi becomes irrelevant when he stars in his own game. Considering that he is, effectively, a re-skinned Mario, why not just have another game starring Mario?

Klonoa

Though the wings on a plane or a bird might not be huge, they are usually proportionally similar to the body they hold afloat. Klonoa’s dimensions therefore introduce a physical impossibility. Klonoa is the star of the most underrated platform franchise in gaming and, despite being a cat (or whatever creature he’s meant to be), he can float for a few seconds in between jumps by flapping his large ears. His ears may be pretty big, but they certainly aren’t big enough to support his weight in such a way. Shame on you Namco for bending the laws of physics in a cartoon fantasy title!

Slippy

The idea of an anthropomorphic frog piloting a fighter jet is ridiculous enough on its own, but there is something else amiss with the most irritating member of the Star fox team. How the hell did he pass his flying exam?! Team star fox are meant to be an elite mercenary group of fighter pilots, and you’d figure they’d have some form of rigorous testing in place for any potential recruits. How the hell then did this whiny little good for nothing get past it all? Granted, Slippy’s primary skills are as an engineer, but why the hell then would you let him out on the field rather than keep him back in the hangar working on new weapons and vehicles?