The Duke Nukem franchise is at an all time low. It has hit rock bottom, and a layer beneath that, being a pile of crap. The comeback of the franchise after fourteen long years of waiting should ideally have been historic. Well… it was historic. Not how we expected, though. Duke Nukem Forever was, to put it mildly, a big bag of crap that played worse than any game we’ve played in the last few years. Yes, that’s putting it mildly. Read our review here. You will see just how sorry an excuse this was for a game.
However, all is not lost. Gearbox has acquired the franchise now, and they mean to make more Duke games. And it’s not as if some parts of Duke Nukem Forever weren’t fun. Who knows, with the talent Gearbox has got, they might actually be able to salvage the franchise, bring it back from the grave.
But what must be done to ensure that Duke’s next outing isn’t as pathetic as Duke Nukem Forever? Will, we have compiled a list of seven things we believe Gearbox must do (or not do) in the next Duke game for it to be actually good enough to redeem the franchise. So enjoy the list, and tell us what you want to see in the next Duke game, and how you like our suggestions, via your comments below.
Don’t go overboard with the cheesy dialogue
Duke Nukem is know for his cheesy, over-the-top dialogues, but DNF took it a bit too far. Some of his quotes were cringe worthy, too perverted or in your face, and the fact that the voice acting was horrendous did not make it any less crass. We don’t want Duke to become a saint in Duke Nukem 5, but we do want his to return to his original glory, with dialogues as awesome and balanced as they were in Duke Nukem 3D.
It’s a shooter, give us more shooting sections
Skip to 00:59. That’s one of the few shooting sections in the game, and that’s not even a shooting section. You get my point? Duke Nukem Forever was supposed to be a First Person Shooter, but it had little to no shooting, and the little bit that it did have was horrible. There was no “oomph” in the shooting, and the feedback was just terrible. Next time, we don’t just want an actual shooter, we want a good shooter.
No more platforming or terribad driving
Not only did Duke sound like an irritating insect in those “tiny Duke” driving sections, the handling of the cars was also pretty bad, and it was just plain boring. And the platforming sections… don’t even get me started on them. The controls and the physics of the game are already broken, and we’re supposed to do platforming with those? The worst part is that they comprised the majority of the game. Do us a favour, Gearbox, and remove the platforming and driving sections in the next Duke game, and if not, then at least make them good. And don’t go overboard with them.