Ten Games With Hilarious NPCs

Thief series

When a guard says things like “What was that? Sounded like a… a sound of some kind” or “Someday, I’m not gonna be a guard anymore. I’m gonna be a … manor lord! And I’m gonna hire lots of guards, put ’em on night patrol, then sneak up behind ’em and say, ‘Did you hear that?’ Watch ’em jump” or “I’m gonna give you until 3 to come out. 1…2…3… … Crap” or the best of all, “I can’t take this anymore… this is absolutely ridiculous everytime I turn around there’s incompetence incompetence and every act I see performed except byself… well I can’t do it by myself”, you know the game’s damn funny. I don’t care if no other character in Thief is as funny as they’re supposed to be (though they are)- as long as future Thief games have awesome guard quotes, I’ll be happy.

Watch that video above if you’re still not getting my drift, you camel mannered tunic wearing molly coddles.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

All GTA games have awesome NPCs, but no game in the series comes close to San Andreas when it comes to them being quirky, hilarious and wonderfully random. Every time you walk by civilians, you chuckle. A guy might be hitting on a girl, telling her she has a great ass. A cop might be screaming at some guys for some reason. People might be making passing comments about you. But no matter what they do, the civilians of San Andreas are always funny and amazingly unpredictable. While I do like the realism GTA IV lent to them, I’d go for San Andreas’ quirkiness over that any day.

Saint’s Row 2

Talk about randomness. While I do believe that Saint’s Row has a long way to go before it becomes an actual threat to the GTA series, the latter has nothing on the former when it comes to randomness and awesome NPCs. I mean, who wouldn’t laugh when a guy you just stole a car from screams “NO! I LEFT MY HYDROGEN TANK IN THERE!” or when you hold a man at gunpoint and he says “”Can you kill my wife?” or when people talk about pirates fighting ninjas? Everyone would laugh, because Saint’s Row games are hilarious, if not as polished as you might want, especially Saint’s Row 2.

The Witcher

The Witcher probably doesn’t deserve to be here as much as the rest of the games on this list do, but I have to admit that some of the things that the NPCs in the game said and did made me chuckle. While they’re not as funny as in games like, say, Fable or GTA or Saint’s Row (all of which are listed above), they just felt so real and yet managed to make me laugh sometimes.

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